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Literature Text
In a forgotten island, dead with cold,
Where living souls could never dare to look,
A lonely maker of ideas, pulled
From a chaotic world where love had ruled,
Now walks defiant roads that no one took.
But slowly a deep anguish he could sense,
When struck by memories of where he'd been,
Of loveless thoughts scattered by him in vain,
Of the attack of words that caused deep pain,
As it confused the fragile hearts he'd seen.
Where was the lover of ideas now?
And where were those he never understood?
The ones that felt life like he never sought,
While he could see the world all in a thought
And worship silence everywhere he stood.
Now all was gone away and all was new,
With not a chain of love left to untie.
As all of anguish and of past he'd known
Has burned and he's now left to think alone
Where new ideas soon grow old and die.
Where living souls could never dare to look,
A lonely maker of ideas, pulled
From a chaotic world where love had ruled,
Now walks defiant roads that no one took.
But slowly a deep anguish he could sense,
When struck by memories of where he'd been,
Of loveless thoughts scattered by him in vain,
Of the attack of words that caused deep pain,
As it confused the fragile hearts he'd seen.
Where was the lover of ideas now?
And where were those he never understood?
The ones that felt life like he never sought,
While he could see the world all in a thought
And worship silence everywhere he stood.
Now all was gone away and all was new,
With not a chain of love left to untie.
As all of anguish and of past he'd known
Has burned and he's now left to think alone
Where new ideas soon grow old and die.
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This is a new poem I made ^_^
Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated 🌺
Comments and critiques are greatly appreciated 🌺
Comments4
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Hey there,
Prettyflour here on behalf of 
with the critique you requested.
I’m loving how you start this- within the first stanza you have created a character, one that I’m already fascinated with after reading those first four lines.
The rhyming is set up in an interesting way, and although I like it, I think the ‘understood and stood’ rhyme in the third stanza could be stronger- maybe a bit more creative.
The ending was very sad- the notion that ideas will grow old and die is powerful and a good way to end it.
Hope this is helpful. Thanks and have a great night.